tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3367902.post-918879212003-04-02T19:38:00.000-08:002003-04-02T19:38:31.466-08:00and this is what she wrote:
<br />[How grateful I was then to be part of the mystery
<br />To love and be loved.
<br />Let's just hope that is enough.]
<br />
<br />i am so lost.
<br />i am so confused
<br />i am stuck in a haze
<br />
<br />
<br />[And the apple fell
<br />And it taught us all
<br />We are chained here to the ground]
<br />
<br />
<br />my life just exploded before my eyes.
<br />
<br />
<br />[I'm sick, lonely, no laurel tree, just green envy.]
<br />
<br />
<br />again.
<br />
<br />
<br />[Time has taught me that all things come to a bitter end.
<br />I try to fight it but it's no use
<br />I must be insane]
<br />
<br />
<br />my heart feels like it's being consumed by my lungs.
<br />
<br />
<br />[A thousand voices erupt in chorus while you just stare. My pillow doesn't hold the same affect as your body would, and my hands don't fit anywhere else but with yours. And I hate you for this. And I love you for this. And I'm so lost.....]
<br />
<br />
<br />there must be something wrong with me.
<br />
<br />
<br />[Will my number come up eventually? Like Love is some kind of lottery,
<br />where you can scratch and see what is underneath.
<br />It's "Sorry",just one cherry, "Play Again." Get lucky.]
<br />
<br />
<br />i don't know what to think.
<br />what to feel.
<br />what to do.
<br />i don't know anything.
<br />
<br />
<br />[...So I won't ever be happy again]
<br />
<br />
<br />tears are blurring my vision
<br />and it seems as if they never stop
<br />
<br />
<br />[and i fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
<br />but i know that that is impossible now.]
<br />
<br />
<br />blood clumps on my arm
<br />stopping too soon.
<br />
<br />
<br />[and so i drink to stay warm
<br />and to kill selected memories]
<br />
<br />
<br />and i can't fucking focus
<br />
<br />
<br />[because i just can't think anymore about that or about her tonight]
<br />
<br />
<br />i can't breathe
<br />
<br />
<br />[i'm giving myself three days to feel better
<br />or i swear i am driving off a fucking cliff]
<br />
<br />
<br />i'm trapped under a mountain of mistakes
<br />
<br />
<br />[i swear that i am dying, slowly but its happening]
<br />
<br />
<br />and i hate this.
<br />
<br />
<br />[if there is a perfect spring that's waiting somewhere
<br />just take me there and lie to me and say it's going to be alright]
<br />
<br />
<br />i hate this so much.
<br />
<br />
<br />[I think I had better find some disbelief to suspend
<br />Cause I don't want to feel like this again]
<br />Diamondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11678736686716927909noreply@blogger.com